This week was kind of hard on me. My weaknesses were really brought to my attention and it took me a while to come to terms with it. I went to visit a friend and talked to her about some of the things I’ve been struggling with. She told me that on your mission your strengths become magnified, but so do your weaknesses. As she was saying this I thought of a scripture in the Book of Mormon.
“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”
I have already experienced this scripture in my life. Through following God I have been able to see my weaknesses and through Him those weaknesses have become strengths. Now that I am serving a mission and striving to follow God even more, my weaknesses have once again been shown unto me. I have faith that as I go to God, He will make my weaknesses strong. I know this doesn’t mean that I will be perfect in the places where I am weak, but it does mean that my weaknesses won’t get in the way of what God wants me to do. As long as I continue to follow Christ and have faith in Him, my weaknesses will be strong in my efforts to do His will.
My friend also told me that if I ever needed assurance that I was a strong person, to look at my trials. She said that God never gives us anything we can’t handle without His help so if we have a lot of trials God knows our strength and our power to turn to Him.
As she was saying this, I was thinking that God must see me as super strong then because I’ve had some pretty big trials. To give you some perspective on this, I’ll tell you about filling out the missionary application. The application asks questions about your mental, emotional, and physical health to make sure that you can handle the strain of a mission. If a question applies to you, you are asked to give more specific details. Well, I had to write details for almost every question. You name it, I’ve probably dealt with it.
Anyway, because I’ve been through so much, I have a testimony about trials. I know that trials help us to become better people and to understand others better. I am grateful that God has such faith in me that He trusts me with so many problems. Sometimes though I do wish things were easier for me. I feel like Alma from the Book of Mormon when he says “O that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart, that I might go forth and speak with the trump of God, with a voice to shake the earth, and cry repentance unto every people!” I wish I could do more than I am capable of so that I could be a better instrument in God’s hands. I know that God will use me in the way He needs though, so I will be content with being an imperfect instrument.
As far as everything else goes, things at the Humanitarian center have been going very well. I feel that I have found my niche and I am needed where I am. I’ve been asked to take on more responsibilities and I’m learning more and more new things.
I start as an ordinance worker tonight and I am very excited about what that will bring. I look forward to the work I will get to do and I only pray that I will not get complacent in my callings. The temple is such a spiritual place and I never want to feel that it is common to be there. The Lord’s house is not common and being there should always feel like a spiritual experience. I hope I never lose sight of that.