In the past few weeks I’ve been reflecting a lot on the past. I’ve spent a good portion of my life trying to forget my past and just live in the present. Although this was beneficial because it helped me get through some more difficult times of my life, now that I’m better I can look back and process things again.
Since I started this mission and even during the process of applying for a mission, the scriptural passages of remembering kept coming to my mind. I had spent so much time trying to forget and now I realized that it was time to remember.
I’ve started the process of healing and coming to terms with my past regrets and sorrows. It is difficult to know how much to do though when dealing with these things. I want to address certain things with people, but I also don’t want to remind them of a past that perhaps they aren’t ready to think about yet. I am torn between making peace with myself and others and possibly creating more discord in someone else’s life. I suppose that more reflections on these thoughts will eventually lead me to what my next step should be.
With the passing of Easter, I have also been reflecting a lot on the life of the Savior and what that means for me. It is beautiful and healing to know that despite my past mistakes, there is someone that has always and will always love me so much that He gave His life for me. He is the type of friend that I hope to be one day. He is selfless. He didn’t do what He did for the glory of the world, but because He wanted something better for us. He gave His glory away so that through Him we could receive unending glory.
I love the meaning and purpose of Easter. I love remembering Christ’s life, death, and resurrection. I have recently been impressed to study Christ’s life so that I can learn how to love. I feel that at times during the past few years I forgot how to love. I was selfish and disgusted with what I saw from the world. It amazes me that Christ still loved everyone and still chose to die for everyone despite the evil He saw in the world. He has seen more evil and been inflicted with more pain and hurt than anyone else in the world, but He still loved the people that caused these pains. I am grateful for His example and I hope that one day I can learn to love as He does.
I hope that you all had a wonderful Easter and were touched by remembering the life of Christ as much as I was. I am realizing how important it is to remember. As we remember we learn from the past and become better people for the future. I am grateful to be in a place right now that I can remember again. I am grateful to be able to serve the Lord and learn of Him. I am grateful for my Savior and the sacrifice He made so that I can learn to love and that I can feel His love. I hope that the coming week will bring even greater things to my remembrance and even more opportunities to love and serve others.