Have you ever had an experience that was so great and powerful that you could never be the same after it?
A few years ago I had an experience that has forever changed me and shaped my life. I won’t describe the experience in this post, but I will say that because of it I can no longer doubt that God exists. I can no longer say that I believe that God lives and loves us because now I know it. I know God lives. I know He loves us. And because I know, I want to let others know.
I have often reflected on this experience and wondered why God would take the time to show me something so special. I have wondered, who am I for God to trust me with greater knowledge? Who am I that God would bless me with knowledge instead of faith?
Faith has always been good enough for me. I believed in God and trusted in Him. He was my best friend for much of my life. In fact, I believed in God so much that I could even say then that I knew Him and His love for me. Not because of any great revelation, but because I felt His love. I felt His arms around me in times of trial and when I prayed, I felt like someone was listening.
Now though, I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that I know God is real. I know the scriptures are true. I know that God loves us. I know that He sent His Son to die for us so that we could live with Him again. I know Christ came to Earth and lived and died for us so that we could be saved through His grace.
And so, with this knowledge, I question what the Lord has in store for me. I wonder if God has given me this experience because He has some higher calling in store for me. I wonder, if that is true, why would He have chosen me? I’m a nobody. I’m a simple girl with lots of problems. I am a weak being.
And yet, I think of Moses who said “I am slow of speech and of a slow tongue.” (Exodus 4:10) I know that if God wants me to do something, He will provide a way for me to do it. I don’t expect to work mighty miracles like Moses did, or have great wisdom like Solomon, or convince people like Elijah. In fact, I don’t expect to do anything in my life that will be remembered for generations or put people in awe. But if the Lord has something greater in mind for me than I have for myself, I will trust that He will make me good enough to do His work.
Until then I ponder why God would show me such great love when I am so small and simple. Yet, “by small and simple thing are great things brought to pass.” So I will strive to do my best to follow God and be the great person He wants me to be. I know that by myself I am nothing, but “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”