Looking Out

I’ve been pretty depressed lately and just thinking about all the things I want to do but can’t and things I wish I could do better. Anyway, I finally got to the point where I decided that I can either retreat into myself or reach out to others. I have gone through major depression before and I have been suicidal in the past. During those times, I decided to retreat into myself. I didn’t see any hope and I was tired of trying so I just stopped.

This time, I don’t want to do that again. I know that things may never change and I know that things probably aren’t going to get any easier at least for a while, but I think it will be worth it. If I can reach out instead of retreating into myself, maybe it will make a difference- not a difference in the world, but a difference in me.

I have a lot going for me right now. I have a lot to be grateful for. And even though I feel like I need more help than most people around me, if I find ways to help people around me maybe it will help me too. So even though it will be hard, I’m going to try as much as possible to reach out to others and find ways to serve them. And hopefully in the process, I’ll be serving myself better as well.

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