Everyone must pay a price to know God.
The price can be emotional, physical, financial, internal, external, or any number of ways. But it is a price we choose to pay to learn how to trust God.
Usually it’s God that chooses the price and we choose whether or not to pay it. Sometimes though we decide to pay a higher price than God originally gave us, in order to secure a better reward.
Talking about it like this makes it seem so easy. In truth, it’s one of the most difficult things in the world.
At some point, we all must decide if we are willing to pay the price it takes to get to know God. Are we willing to accept the trials and problems and heartache we are given and trust in God through the process? Are we willing to feel broken and torn, uncomfortable and misunderstood, lost and hopeless? Are we willing to give up what looks like happiness to experience what we feel will bring true happiness?
Don’t take me wrong, following God should be a happy process. In fact, it should make us the happiest people in the world. But… in the midst of that happiness are times of darkness, depression, and despair. Christ was “a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.” (Isaiah 53:3) As Paul says, “We are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.” (Romans 8:17) We must be willing to suffer with Christ to be joint heirs with him.
Lately, I have been going through rough times. Possibly the hardest part of these times is that I know that I am responsible for my own suffering. You see, I asked God for more trials. It wasn’t that I wasn’t grateful for the blessings. I just didn’t feel as close to God as I wanted to be. So I told God that I would be willing to give up the easiness of my life if it meant I could become closer to him.
And so, here I am, a few hundred tears later with probably a few hundred tears left to go. And I wonder, is this really the price I am willing to pay to know God? My mind tells me I’m crazy, but my heart tells me, yes, it is. This is the price I am willing to pay and will continue to be willing to pay because God is worth more to me than the easiness of the way.